In late November, we got a call from the hospital in Bandon, Ore.  My father in law had been admitted.  As it turns out his dementia had progressed to a point that he was no longer able to live alone and we moved him to an assisted living facility.  Since that call, we have been to Oregon twice trying to get his affairs squared away with more planned in the near future.  Those trips have left me pretty exhausted emotionally and physically (its an 11 hour drive!).  Hence, I just didn’t feel like posting.  I am so thankful this happened after I retired!

The situation has left me with mixed feelings.  On the one hand, I am glad I am young and hopefully have many years left before I am too ill to live on my own.  On the other hand, I feel old.  My wife and I are now old enough to have old parents!  Life is progressing at a rate that seems way to fast.  before we know it, we will be to old to enjoy the things we enjoy now.  I guess the experience has made us aware of our own mortality.

I find myself thinking about my life.  Am I living it the way I want?  Am I living it to the fullest?  Like most folks, the answer is not as easy as yeas or no.  Those of you that read this probably know we have teenage boys.  Their presence means that we cannot live out our retirement dreams just yet, thought that was a choice we made long ago and happily stand by it.  Still we could do more to squeeze a little more out of life.

It’s funny.  Life is always changing and so are we.  The things that seemed important just a few years ago aren’t anymore.  Things I never saw myself doing or wanting now consume my thoughts.  I suppose the trick is learning to be free enough to follow your heart, no matter where it takes you.  It can be a scary thing when you suddenly discover your present lifestyle is no longer satisfying and the new one you desire is quite foreign to you.

Anyway, these are the things that I have been thinking about.  I don’t know what is in store, but I am eager to find out.  I wonder at the things I will discover and learn and the ways in which I will grow.  I am glad my wife is along with me for the ride.  Lastly, fear not.  I am sure I will blog about it when whatever happens, happens.

Advertisements